A fine line

She'd always admired his confidence and his ability to speak in public. He was articulate and spoke his mind. But just 10 years later, she can't stand his arrogance, how he'll never admit it when he's wrong!

He'd always appreciated Her, and so did his mates, how she always dressed to show off her incredible figure. Now he can't understand how long it takes to buy a new dress, and he's lost count of how many times he's missed the start of a game...

There is no doubt that time and familiarity have a way of changing our perspective, not only within personal relationships, but in workplaces too. We notice the failings, and on a bad day will even look for them.

But if I first look at myself, I realise that my strength (which I see) is also my weakness - and my weakness (which they see) is also my strength.

I'm not a perfectionist, I like excellence. I'm not resisting change, I'm playing Devil's Advocate. I don't mean to be in your face, I'm just intense!

It's a question of perspective and attitude, and at times, context. I need to understand and value you, in the same way I want to be valued and understood. If I see a weakness, I need to look for the strength.

Try it:

Weakness Time-waster Pedantic It's all about me Gets walked on Internalises pain, blames self Flippant, tactless Egotistical Introverted Neglects family Claustrophobic Money-focused Compulsive buyer Dominates Rigid, immovable Lazy Easily ripped off Madness

Strength Creative Attention to details Confident speaker Wants to please people Sensitive to others Spontaneous Self-aware Deep thinker Hard worker Affectionate Never in debt Bargain-hunter Leader Organised Easy going, relaxed Compassionate Genius

And here's a thought: If you're a parent, a manager, or in a position of responsibility, it's okay to evaluate. But if you're a sibling, colleague, or life-partner, it's not okay to judge, or limit people into a box.

In short, we need to celebrate our differences. We need to tolerate our excesses. The world would be a boring or a terrible place if all of "you" were exactly like "me" - and all those who know me just nod their head J

And sure, there needs to be a balance, that's why we need other people, but doesn't even the bell curve needs it's upper and lower percentiles?

Isn't medium too often just another word for mediocre?